Weird Wick-ness From John Wick 1
You thought the first John Wick was just a darkly thrilling noir revenge action flick? Hell no! Full list of 10 at bit.ly/whoawick1 or cautionspoilers.com
1, Common Courtesy: Wick & Perkins Chapter 2
When they bump into each other at the Continental they clearly have a shared history (come on, they’ve got to have shagged each other at least once). But she calls him John, while he calls her Perkins. Not even MISS Perkins. Which to me is just rude, and frankly after that I’m not surprised she broke into his room and kicked the crap out of him. You brought that one on yourself John, MANNERS COST NOTHING.
2, The Dieting Doorman
The Russian doorman Francis at the Red Circle nightclub. He’d lost 60lb. As John said, impressive! I would just like to say I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR BEING THE VERY BEST YOU CAN BE, FRANCIS. Though even if you’ve since put it all back on again eating dumplings and stuff that’s fine too. No body-shaming here except of mine and only by me, and then you all have to say “god no Sarah you look hot as fuck”. :
3, John’s Boxer Shorts
That epic fight with the divine Miss Perkins (yes I know, her again). He’s in boxer shorts and a white T-shirt. They chuck each other all over the place and his boxers DO NOT MOVE. And I looked really, really closely. Someone stitched them up didn’t they. Honestly directors, please give us ladies something to look at besides gunshots, much as I love gunshots. Miss Perkins’ leather catsuit didn’t move either but those things are a bugger to get off. So a friend told me anyway.
4, The World’s Largest Umbrellas
At Helen’s funeral John had the world’s largest umbrella. And Willem Dafoe attended too with the world’s second largest umbrella. They actually had to shout at each other from a distance because of the risk of the spokes in their enormous umbrellas getting all tangled up. Together those two umbrellas covered most of New York and everyone must have thought the weather had suddenly changed for the better and put their washing out and shit.